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Care and Conversation about Incontinence

Care and Conversation about Incontinence

Worldwide, incontinence affects 200 million people. Still, many people who suffer from incontinence are reluctant to address the issue because of the social stigma and fear attached to the subject. People with incontinence should understand that they are not alone and must be encouraged to get help. This often starts with a conversation between family members or loved ones.

Family members and caregivers often have the tough responsibility of delivering uncomfortable information to loved ones. Having a conversation about the need to wear incontinence panties or incontinence briefs is probably not something you are looking forward to doing. However, the good news is that people who suffer from incontinence have broad access to health resources, medical assistance and new-and-improved incontinence products that can help maintain their dignity and quality of life. Incontinence supplies can also help caregivers manage this issue more effectively and assured. By not using incontinence products, not only can it result in embarrassing incidents, but also health issues like skin rashes and urinary tract infections, among other complications. When it is time, it is important to talk to loved ones about the usefulness and efficacy of incontinence products.

When to Bring it Up

How can you tell if your loved one needs to start wearing incontinence underwear? The main sign is that it has become a chronic problem. Whether the cause is an overactive bladder, stress, overflow incontinence or weak bladder muscles, you will know it is a problem because your loved one will have issues with wetting themselves and/or their beds at night in a chronic way. If these incidents start to happen on a regular basis, your loved one can benefit from incontinence panties or incontinence briefs.

How do you have this conversation with them? It is certainly a delicate matter. Approach them gently and be empathetic to their feelings. Put yourself in their position: how would you like to be told about this? Some elderly people do not want to talk about it, mainly out of embarrassment and frustration. You do not want the conversation to be awkward or for them to become angry at you; bring it up gently and compassionately. You could offer to purchase incontinence panties or incontinence briefs for them as a starting point.

Another way to talk to a loved one about incontinence is by taking them to their doctor. The doctor can do most of the talking, explaining the importance of properly managing incontinence. You might learn a thing or two as well, making you an even better caregiver. Having your loved one evaluated will help rule out other serious concerns like weak pelvic floor muscles, nerve damage, obstructions, or other causes. Your loved one will also learn about the things to avoid, such as drinking sodas or eating foods that irritate the bladder and can make incontinence worse.

mother and daughter sitting next to each other talking.

What is Causing the Incontinence?

The first step to creating an incontinence care plan is to determine what is causing your incontinence. It may be common to see older people with incontinence, but it is not guaranteed that incontinence will occur. In fact, many cases of incontinence are curable, so leaving family members to suffer with it is not the only option.

A good doctor can diagnose incontinence, and may refer your parent to a specialist, or even treat him or her directly. This may include blood tests, urinalysis, a physical exam, and questions concerning your parent’s medical history. Depending on the diagnosis, there are usually ways to treat or at least cope with the incontinence.

In some cases, it may be something biological, such as a urinary tract infection or an enlarged prostate. In these cases, treating your parent with medication is the most effective remedy. In other cases, your parent may need a behavioral treatment plan that can end incontinence for good. This plan may include Kegels, which are special pelvic muscle strengthening exercises that will help your parent control the need to “go.”

Start a Diary

Keeping a diary can help determine how much fluid and food your loved ones ingest, and how often they need to go to the bathroom. Cutting down fluids does not help incontinence; in fact, reducing fluids can actually worsen the problem, as it can cause urinary tract infections and constipation. It is good to make sure your parent drinks at least six to eight glasses of water daily and eat a balanced diet with enough fiber so that they are not constipated.

Once you can see the pattern of their needs to eliminate, it is easier to put together a schedule that will help them to urinate or defecate before they soil themselves. That way, they can learn how to control their urges over time, even if they have suffered from a stroke or some other neurological condition.

Despite urinary incontinence being a commonly reported symptom during perimenopause and menopause, it is not a normal or inevitable result of getting older. You do not have to accept urinary incontinence during menopause. There are effective treatments available.

older couple sitting on chair.

Make a Schedule

One of the best things you can do is make a schedule that ensures your parent relieves themselves before they have an accident. If you can simply ask them every two to four hours if they need to urinate or defecate, it may be all that is required to prevent an accident. If they still have accidents, plan for them to use the bathroom on a schedule, such as when they get up, after they eat or drink, before and after they exercise, and before bed. They should not drink within two hours of bedtime. Using special incontinence underwear or incontinence panties and bed pads that absorb any accidents will help keep them dry. Once soiled, any bedding and clothing need to be changed out with fresh replacements, and the soiled sheets and garments should be washed.

Aging with Dignity

Different incontinence products are used by men and women. Choosing the right products for your loved one will help to manage the condition properly. Having the right fit will prevent leaks and odors, helping your loved one to preserve their dignity as they age. Others will not even be aware that they are wearing adult incontinence panties or incontinence briefs with the proper garment maintenance. Advanced new products like the Wearever© washable and reusable products that offer leak-proof coverage for light to moderate incontinence is a seamless way to adjust to their new lifestyle with confidence and comfortable protection.

Suggesting that your loved one wear incontinence panties or incontinence briefs need not be a traumatic or difficult experience for either of you. For some older adults, it is simply a natural phase of life, and one that can be managed. Your loved one need not lose any dignity or quality of life. Just remember to be gentle when you approach your loved one about starting to use incontinence products. Having compassion and empathy for them and their situation will make the conversation much easier and more constructive. If need be, have a doctor facilitate the discussion. Your loved one will benefit greatly from your care and concern.

Naturally, incontinence is a condition that older people commonly face as they age. It is especially hard to see our parents suffer from it. The good news is that incontinence can be treated, or at least minimized, and you can help reduce the number of accidents that can occur and embarrass your parent. With a plan in place, you and your loved ones will feel empowered to meet incontinence head on and rise above its symptoms.

nurse standing helping a patient.
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One Response

  1. My husband is totally incontinent, but nighttime is our big problem. We have tried all kinds of pads and the under pad is still soaked every morning. He has cut down on drinking in the evening but it hasn’t helped. His incontinence is due to radiation that he had 10 years ago.

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