I’m a 48-year-old man, and I wear adult absorbent briefs. Every day, every night. The problem started when I was around 40. I had always had some nighttime bedwetting issues, but they were rare and something I managed for most of my life with waterproof bedding.
But after I turned 40, I noticed I was having more and more frequent episodes at night. I tried wearing absorbent pads, but they still leaked, causing me to have to change my bed sheets almost 4 times a week. Then the problem started happening during the day – I just couldn’t hold it in long enough to make it to the bathroom.
I saw three doctors, and none of them could find a specific diagnosis for me to explain why I was having this problem. I spent at least a year in denial – foregoing protection because I was embarrassed, but running to the bathroom more often than I wanted. I brought extra clothes with me to work and to social functions “just in case”, and soon, started to limit outings as much as I could because I couldn’t face the prospect of having an accident in front of my family and friends.
I finally realized that if I wanted any semblance of a normal life, I needed to use protection. I did my research and tried out several types of absorbent products to find something that worked for me. (Turns out I use absorbent briefs for day and night, although my nighttime briefs are thicker for extra protection.)
It used to bother me that I had to wear “diapers” but now, I don’t think about it at all. I’d rather know I am protected vs. have an accident in public. If anything, I feel more confident wearing a product, because I know that I’m not going to experience a leak and can get back to living a normal life.
If you struggle with bladder leakage, just bite the bullet and find a product that works for you. In the end, you’ll be so relieved to know that “you’re covered”, and most people won’t even know you are wearing extra protection.
Mike W., Pensacola, FL
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12 Responses
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I’m 47 yrs old and my bladder control has always been iffy at best. If I can be near a toilet, I can usually make it in a timely manner, and I’m in good shape. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve needed to pee, but I’m nowhere near a toilet when I desperately need to pee.
I’m in my 60’s now but pretty much have the same attitude about diapers. Lifelong bedwetter that has worn cloth diapers with plastic pants pretty much forever. Always struggled during the day also and had to go 15+ times a day and would still have to hide wet spots on my pants. I wore training type pants with plastic pants during the day until my teens and then just struggled. Doctors always said I would outgrow it. I hated going to doctors and having to tell nurses and doctors about my nightly bedwetting and daytime struggles. I was given meds, exercises, bedwetting alarms, and tried pretty much everything with no success. In my early 30’s I finally had a complete urodynamic study done and was diagnosed with a neurogenic bladder which the dr. Said made my bladder work like a babies in that my brain signals were not connecting with my bladder. This explained why I wet at night and struggled so much during the day. I decided it was silly to keep trying to fight it and added quality disposables to use during the day. My stress level went down and self confidence went straight up. I know why this condition is what it is and my comfort level with 24/7 diapers is excellent. I don’t hide from it and even share the information with family and friends when it becomes necessary. If I’m sharing a hotel room with a friend I let them know. When I’m ever sleeping at a relatives or friends house I let them know because I need to protect bedding and mattresses from leaks. I always let hotels know and most times they will accommodate and already have plastic protection on the bed. I always bring my own for the times the request isn’t fulfilled and I put one on the bed myself. During the day I will have occasional leaks but those are usually my fault as I just wait too long to change diapers.
I understand how hard it is to adjust to. Being a teenage boy bedwetting nightly and fearing anyone finding out was really tough. Looking back on it however the few friends I had that found out were pretty cool about it. I was discovered in college and had a great group of friends that nicknamed me puddles in a very light hearted manner. Whenever someone would ask them and me directly one of my friends would jump in and say because he wets his bed, maturely and matter of factly, and no one ever made a big deal out of it. So in short we carry all the pressure and stress around, mostly inside us, and you might find it’s quite a minor point to anyone else.
I wanted to purchase an adult diaper for my Grandpa who has been facing heavy incontinence issue lately. Just wanted to know as to which type of adult diaper would be most effective for heavy flow.
Online, Abena m4 are good, better dry are excellent. Overnight is tough since I’ve not had any luck with disposables. I stick to thick pin on diapers with good fitting plastic pants
With MS often comes with incontinence issues. I decided early on to take the same pattern of thinking I’d rather be wearing a diaper than wet pants.
After many years of looking for and trying every adult diaper I could find, Abena makes a good product, however I have gotten to really like north shore care, they let you sample before you buy. They have a Megamax brief that has never failed me even on very bad days, where mobility issues can limit changes.
I had a fall off a ladder about 25 feet up on too a concrete floor, I went to the hospital, the doctors had check me out, and was set up to have a MRI done but couldn’t get me in right away, they didn’t want to use a catheter on me because they didn’t know how much damage was done. Next thing I know the nurse is coming in my room with a diaper in her hand, she explained to me why she was going to put it on me I was shocked whiled I lied there getting a diaper put on. This went on for 3 days and every 4 hours they would come in and check me out to see if I was wet. My MRI come back and I have pelvic floor and nerve damage. I’ve been in diapers for the last 20 years. Main thing was finding what works for me, I have no control over my bladder and sometimes lose of my bowel control. I’ve found what works for me years ago, and become comfortable with having to be in diapers.
The one thing that helped me out alot with having to wear diapers, I had a doctor’s appointment and I was having issues with having to wear diapers, my doctor new it, he new that I would not use catheters, I set there upset, the doctor put his hand on my nee and looked me in the eye and said, people wear glasses for a reason if you break your arm you wear a cast on your arm for a reason, he said your situation is no different your wearing a diaper for a reason. More I thought about what he said the more sense it made to me. This comment helped me out with having to be in diapers.
I started out with oab then also picked up ibs.I’ve been diapered for several yrs because of this the stigma was over the top at 1st but like Jim Sheets said above wet pants are a drag.
Thank you so much for sharing I am a 49 year old male now having to wear Adult diapers and honestly it has helped me mentally knowing I would not wake up with wet sheets or pants during the day. Type 2 diabetes even thought under control has really messed up my body
I am a 75 year old woman who about a year ago started to experience nighttime bedwetting issues. After months of denial I finally started wearing overnight protection. It was embarrassing! About a month ago, believing that I was sill in control of my bladder I decided to try to forgo my nighttime diapers. Bad decision! Waking up two nights in a row to wet clothing and a wet bed helps me to understand the need, and the comfort and security of wearing a diaper at night. I’m now more comfortable with that decision. I have also made the difficult decision to wear daytime protection when I know I’ll be away from home for a long time. Wearing an adult diaper in public really bothers me as I feel like everyone can tell but is is better than having the occasional accident.
I want to bite the bullet to wear diapers again but I’m concerned that I’ll get treated differently. Because the main reason I want to wear again is that I’ve some invisible medical conditions/disabilities that unless you’ve them,know someone who has them like as a best friend type level,and/or live with someone who has them you really can’t understand/get the bigger picture of the day to day life of the individual in question. My uniqueness/challenges/disabilities are semi diagnosed autism,epilepsy from a traumatic brain injury when I was just a toddler,trying to thrive from being a sexual rape survivor as an infant,and having to hide certain aspects of my true self due to my disabilities/uniqueness.