My incontinence started right around when I turned 50. Things began slowly – a few leaks every now and then, mostly at night. The first time it happened, I woke up in the morning to find the bed sheets were completely wet. I didn’t think much of it and wrote it off as an accident. But then it happened again a week or so later. I started to realize that it might be a bigger issue than I first thought.
To help manage things, I bought some men’s Depends to wear at night. The results weren’t what I was hoping for. They leaked through, which is how I came to realize that I was actually peeing a lot more than I thought I was. So I went online and learned that for heavy incontinence, pull-up briefs don’t work very well because they tend to sag and leak. So I did some research and found that adult diapers with tabs work best. I ordered ConfiDry 24/7 plastic-backed diapers with tabs, and that was the end of any leakage for me. (Learn more about finding the right absorbent product here.)
But it wasn’t the end of all my incontinence challenges. One evening I was at my girlfriend’s house and was going to spend the night. I figured that I would just discreetly put the diaper on under my shorts and go to bed. I waited until after she fell asleep on the couch to start putting on my diaper, and wouldn’t you know it, just as I stood up, there she was, standing at the door with a big “What are you doing?!” look on her face. I explained to her my situation, and I can’t tell you how relieved I was to see that she wasn’t upset at all by the fact I had to wear a diaper to bed. In fact, she was more upset that I didn’t tell her sooner!
Not long after, she convinced me to schedule an appointment with a urologist – she was concerned that there might be a more serious medical issue at play. After my first visit, the doctor gave me some overactive bladder pills to take at night. In the beginning, they didn’t work particularly well, and I was still wetting my diaper, though not as much as before.
On my next visit, the doctor encouraged me to give them some time, and he gave me a five-week supply. I continued taking the pills and went two weeks without wetting in my diaper at all. I figured that the pills had solved my problem, so I stopped wearing diapers altogether. Big mistake. After about a week had gone by, I woke up one morning to find that my sheets were once again completely wet. It’s a good thing that I had been using a form-fitting plastic sheet to protect the bed!
After that episode, I went back to wearing diapers every night. As it turns out, even with the medication, I would still wet myself every now and then. I kept track of how often it happened, and when I saw my doctor again, he reviewed my chart, listened to my symptoms, and gave me a six-week supply of a new medication to treat OAB.
The very next morning, my diaper was full. I wasn’t disappointed like I was with the first pills I had tried, because those had taken some time to kick in, so I figured I’ll give these a shot to see if they make a bigger difference. If not, I’m confident there will be other treatments worth trying, too.
The point of this story is that there’s no reason to be embarrassed by nighttime incontinence or having to wear protection to prevent bedwetting. My journey continues, and I won’t be giving up on seeking treatment. For now, wearing a diaper to bed is just a part of the ordinary routine, and I don’t feel like it’s a hardship at all. I hope this story helps others come to terms with their own conditions and actively seek out their own treatment path – there’s definitely help out there if you just look for it.
Chad
2 Responses
There is nothing wrong with wearing a diaper at bedtime.
I appreciate Chads story of his challenges and acceptance.
Mine is quite similar as I have struggled for years with leaks and wet spots in my pants to eventually wetting at night.
Mine started in my late teens and twenties with constant dribbles and then a bigger leak or squirt of pee in my pants well after voiding. It was surprising to me as I have always been trim, fit and athletically active.
When I turned forty is when I started having larger wetting accidents and the occasional wetting when sleeping. I started seeing a urologist and received medication treatments to help control the symptoms.
My wife is quite understanding and has been most supportive of my condition.
As years passed there have been periods of drier times over others. I’ve been dealing with the realities of BPH and OAB due to my lower back and prostate condition. Occasional chronic prostatitis flares up and makes matters worse. I receive medical treatments to keep matters in check, but it doesn’t totally eliminate the leaks and wettings.
Sometimes I even start going at the urge of having to pee before getting to the restroom. This usually is when I stand up after laying or sitting for a long period of time.
In my younger years I would use folded paper towels in my underwear. By forty I was using guards by day and heavier pads for sleeping, but this didn’t offer the full protection needed to prevent leaks and overflows to protect clothing and bedding from getting wet.
By age fifty I just started to use the pull-ups and diapers but the quality of the store brands still didn’t provide adequate protection.
For years the search and trials went on to find the quality diapers needed to give me the leak free protection and proper fit I needed. I found that the brands: Seni, Northshore, Tena, Prevail, Betterdry and Abena all had styles that work. I like the Tena Super or Northshore Supreme for day time and the Betterdry or MegaMax at night. It varies based on what the conditions are as to what I might wear at that moment or activity. I’m
Anyway, now at age 60, I regularly find it much easier to wear a lighter daytime brief during the day and wear a good nighttime diaper at bedtime or when traveling.
Accept your situation and find the protection best for your condition. There is a lot of life to live, fun to have and know that wearing a diaper really can make it easier, more comfortable and improve quality of life.
My situation was a sudden thing, I fell off a ladder about 25 feet up on too a concrete floor, I went to the hospital the doctors had checked me out and I felt myself uncontrollably wetting myself while I was being checked out for breaks the doctors had set me up for a MRI to be done but couldn’t get me in right away. They put me in a room the nurse come in and had a diaper in her hand. She explained to me why they didn’t want to use a catheter on me because they didn’t know how much damage was done. She pulled the sheets off and proseted to put a diaper on me. As she was diapering me she told me they would come in and check on me. Every 4 hours they would come in and check to see if I was wet. By the end of the day they come got me for the MRI. The results were I have pelvic floor and nerve damage. I didn’t know what this meant, the doctor come in and explained what was going to happen, he set me up to see a urologist. I was in the hospital for 3 days and when I was wheeled out of the hospital I was in diapers with a stack of diapers on my lap as they wheeled me out. I seen the urologist and had many tests and exam’s Done. I seen many urologist the first two years with no results. I give up on the urologist after two years. I had a doctor’s appointment and he knew I was having a hard time with having to be in diapers. He new I wouldn’t use catheters, he put his hand on my nee and looked me in the eye and said people wear glasses for a reason if you break your arm you wear a cast for a reason , he said your situation is no different your wearing a diaper for a reason. The more I thought about what he said made sense to me. It made it easier for me to have to wear diapers. I have no control over my bladder and sometimes lose of my bowel control, I’m in diapers 24/7. And have been for over 20 years. Main thing is just finding what works for me, I’ve adjusted to being in diapers, my wife has been very supportive of me and has helped me get though the embarrassing moments the first couple of years. If I wanted any kind of a life I’ve got to be in diapers. I’ve adjusted to it and I’m comfortable with it now.