QUESTION:
THIS ONE IS PRETTY PERSONAL… I’VE BEEN WITH MY PARTNER FOR 8 YEARS AND OUR SEX LIFE HAS ALWAYS BEEN GOOD. BUT LATELY, I’VE BEEN HAVING STRANGE ORGASMS – INSTEAD OF THE CLIMAXES I NORMALLY EXPERIENCE, I’VE BEEN HAVING VERY LONG AND POWERFUL ONES, AND THE EMBARRASSING THING IS THAT A LOT OF LIQUID COMES OUT, TOO. IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?
ANSWER:
No, there’s nothing wrong with you! Changes in the way your body acts can often be confusing or concerning, but from the way you’ve described things, I don’t believe you have anything to worry about. In fact, this could even be a change that you come to appreciate. That’s because it sounds like you’re having what’s called a ‘squirting orgasm,’ the involuntary expulsion of a substantial amount of urine during sexual activity1.
You’re already familiar with the natural lubrication that occurs with sexual activity, but this is something different. There’s also a type of incontinence associated with sex called urine leakage disorder or coital incontinence, but it doesn’t sound like that matches your description, either. There are, however, two other less common phenomena that could fit the bill: female ejaculation and squirting.
With female ejaculation, a small amount of fluid is secreted by the female prostate, while with squirting, fluid is released from the urinary bladder through the urethra. This fluid may either be identical to urine or a diluted form of it2, though there may also be a small amount of a prostate secretion called PSA, too.3
As far as volume goes, it can vary considerably, with a usual range of between about a half an ounce to more than 3-1/2 ounces. The color is most frequently described as “clear as water”4.
One of the reasons why I suspect that you don’t have coital incontinence is that your orgasms have been more powerful lately, and that’s not normally associated with incontinent episodes. Instead, what I believe you’re experiencing is a combination of female ejaculation and squirting – the fluid is, of course, the most obvious sign, but the stronger orgasms are also associated with those phenomena, too.
The good news is that women and their partners who experience this often consider it a positive development, and it frequently improves their sex life.5 Don’t be afraid to explore this new discovery. The ways in which women achieve sexual pleasure is highly subjective, and different women may have different opinions on which types of orgasm are more pleasurable for them. It’s all about what makes you feel good!
Just make sure that you pee before – or even in the middle of – having sex. This may help alleviate the feeling of pressure, and it may also reduce the sense that you have to pee during sexual activity. Finally, I can’t stress enough the importance of pelvic floor exercises to keep your pelvic floor muscles in top shape – that can give you a more rewarding sex life and help protect against certain forms of incontinence in the future.
Sources:
- Pastor, Z., & Chmel, R. (2018) Differential diagnostics of female “sexual” fluids: a narrative review. International urogynecology journal, 29(5), 621-629.
- Salama S, Boitrelle F, Gauquelin A, Malagrida L, Thiounn N, Desvaux P. Nature and origin of squirting in female sexuality. J Sex Med. 2015;12:661–6.
- Schubach G. Urethral expulsions during sensual arousal and bladder catheterization in seven human females. E J Hum Sex. 2001;4. http://www.ejhs.org/volume4/Schubach/abstract.html.
- Rubio-Casillas A, Jannini EA. New insights from one case of female ejaculation. J Sex Med. 2011;8:3500–4.
- Wimpissinger F, Springer C, Stackl W. International online survey: female ejaculation has a positive impact on women’s and their partners’ sexual lives. BJU Int. 2013;112:177–85.
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8 Responses
My boyfriend has become frustrated and can’t get off because I’m pushing him out when I try to get off. The pressure becomes so intense really fast. Probably every 30 seconds to a minute.
I get embarrassed talking about sex with my partner and feel ashamed if he talks about sec with me to others. I barely know the basics usually he does all the work because I can’t focus the orgasms are so intense.
my bf finds it sexy when i “squirt” and while it does feel nice, i find it to be a bit embarrassing and inconvenient as it leaves the sheets a mess. i wish i could stop and sometimes i try to hold it but after a certain point i feel as if i lose control of my bladder. sometimes i suffer from incontinence outside my sex life, like when im at work or just laying in bed.
Just have to say to the Woman that feel embarrassed, if your man feel it Weird or don’t like it, Fuxk him no pun intended! From my experience of Talking with friends most men don’t mind, and those who do don’t, don’t understand better..
You should never feel embarrassed by talking sex with your man/woman, it’s a natural and big part of all relationship’s . It comes with age but the earlier you can discuss what you like and don’t the better.
Never be ashamed of it, be proud!
/Adult man
This squirting orgasm is also happening to me and it makes me feel like I’m cheap to my boyfriend as if I have been having sex with multiple partners, so is there a way to not squirt during sex? But my partner would want me to come back to him for more but me personally Im not relieved at all.
Iv was on top and suddenly came it was a really hard and long orgasm but all of a sudden lots of water was released at same time. The feeling was so good and I could Gemma my partner was getting close (as he hardened up) so I kept going and had another orgasm – this time less intense and then more water came out. Ur the second time not as much – they must have been like 3 minutes apart, definitely the closest orgasms Iv ever had. That feeling was like never before. It was amazing.
But afterwards there was no smell but so much of it I had to get him a towel and that bit of the bed was soaked. Is that squirting or did I just wee on my partner? I can’t help but feel a bit scared… is a weird one cos the was like nothing else so I want to do it again (haven’t been able to relax properly ever since) but the fear that I’m weeing on him and without consent makes me not want to.
What if I’m just weeing on him?. But literally the orgasm was so good I couldn’t stop it from gushing out. I was definitely orgasming first and then it gushed out on both occasions! And I was totally relaxed and in the moment.
Iv orgasm since but defo not as strong. And the fear is always in my mind!
Pls can you identify what it is? And how to best proceed!
I never used to squirt or anything until I became pregnant and sometimes during the day I do have to pee constantly. I think that’s all apart of being pregnant.
Buy I can’t tell if I’m urinating or just having an orgasim now. I know it doesn’t smell like urine but even before I have the final orgasm I’ve squirted fluid out and idk why I am pre squirting either. I am getting used to this new gift. Hopefully I get over being embarrassed by it. And get back to how things used to ve in bed with my significant other.
Men should embrace this beautiful gift, that women have. Squirting is a sign of pleasure, and that she’s actually into you. Women please listen, there’s nothing wrong with little bit or A lot of squirting during sex. It’s a natural lubricant and just turns the moment up for a REAL MAN. So lady’s, don’t have no shame in yo game sis..!
I didn’t squirt with my husband until after 10 years into our marriage, I believe that it happens after you learn to understand what makes you feel good and what doesn’t. And once you communicate this with your man and relax enough it will happen. Also I believe that it happens for most women after you get a bit older. The best sex for me started after 40 and I’m 48 and it hasn’t slowed down yet. My husband loves when it happens as do most men I’m sure because it means they satisfied their woman. Ladies don’t feel ashamed that you are being satisfied. It won’t happen all the time but when it does, OH MY GOD!! We feel like we are gonna explode and I guess we kinda do.