THIS ONE IS PRETTY PERSONAL… I’VE BEEN WITH MY PARTNER FOR 8 YEARS AND OUR SEX LIFE HAS ALWAYS BEEN GOOD. BUT LATELY, I’VE BEEN HAVING STRANGE ORGASMS – INSTEAD OF THE CLIMAXES I NORMALLY EXPERIENCE, I’VE BEEN HAVING VERY LONG AND POWERFUL ONES, AND THE EMBARRASSING THING IS THAT A LOT OF LIQUID COMES OUT, TOO. IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?
No, there’s nothing wrong with you! Changes in the way your body acts can often be confusing or concerning, but from the way you’ve described things, I don’t believe you have anything to worry about. In fact, this could even be a change that you come to appreciate. That’s because it sounds like you’re having what’s called a ‘squirting orgasm,’ the involuntary expulsion of a substantial amount of urine during sexual activity1.
You’re already familiar with the natural lubrication that occurs with sexual activity, but this is something different. There’s also a type of incontinence associated with sex called urine leakage disorder or coital incontinence, but it doesn’t sound like that matches your description, either. There are, however, two other less common phenomena that could fit the bill: female ejaculation and squirting.
With female ejaculation, a small amount of fluid is secreted by the female prostate, while with squirting, fluid is released from the urinary bladder through the urethra. This fluid may either be identical to urine or a diluted form of it2, though there may also be a small amount of a prostate secretion called PSA, too.3
As far as volume goes, it can vary considerably, with a usual range of between about a half an ounce to more than 3-1/2 ounces. The color is most frequently described as “clear as water”4.
One of the reasons why I suspect that you don’t have coital incontinence is that your orgasms have been more powerful lately, and that’s not normally associated with incontinent episodes. Instead, what I believe you’re experiencing is a combination of female ejaculation and squirting – the fluid is, of course, the most obvious sign, but the stronger orgasms are also associated with those phenomena, too.
The good news is that women and their partners who experience this often consider it a positive development, and it frequently improves their sex life.5 Don’t be afraid to explore this new discovery. The ways in which women achieve sexual pleasure is highly subjective, and different women may have different opinions on which types of orgasm are more pleasurable for them. It’s all about what makes you feel good!
Just make sure that you pee before – or even in the middle of – having sex. This may help alleviate the feeling of pressure, and it may also reduce the sense that you have to pee during sexual activity. Finally, I can’t stress enough the importance of pelvic floor exercises to keep your pelvic floor muscles in top shape – that can give you a more rewarding sex life and help protect against certain forms of incontinence in the future.
- Pastor, Z., & Chmel, R. (2018) Differential diagnostics of female “sexual” fluids: a narrative review. International urogynecology journal, 29(5), 621-629.
- Salama S, Boitrelle F, Gauquelin A, Malagrida L, Thiounn N, Desvaux P. Nature and origin of squirting in female sexuality. J Sex Med. 2015;12:661–6.
- Schubach G. Urethral expulsions during sensual arousal and bladder catheterization in seven human females. E J Hum Sex. 2001;4. http://www.ejhs.org/volume4/Schubach/abstract.html.
- Rubio-Casillas A, Jannini EA. New insights from one case of female ejaculation. J Sex Med. 2011;8:3500–4.
- Wimpissinger F, Springer C, Stackl W. International online survey: female ejaculation has a positive impact on women’s and their partners’ sexual lives. BJU Int. 2013;112:177–85.
My boyfriend has become frustrated and can’t get off because I’m pushing him out when I try to get off. The pressure becomes so intense really fast. Probably every 30 seconds to a minute.
I get embarrassed talking about sex with my partner and feel ashamed if he talks about sec with me to others. I barely know the basics usually he does all the work because I can’t focus the orgasms are so intense.
my bf finds it sexy when i “squirt” and while it does feel nice, i find it to be a bit embarrassing and inconvenient as it leaves the sheets a mess. i wish i could stop and sometimes i try to hold it but after a certain point i feel as if i lose control of my bladder. sometimes i suffer from incontinence outside my sex life, like when im at work or just laying in bed.