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Patient Perspective: It’s Hard To Be An Adult Who Wets The Bed

I’m 40 years old, and I have wet the bed all my life. It’s a tough thing for anyone to wet the bed as an adult. You feel ashamed, embarrassed. Dirty even.  And for a guy, it feels humiliating. You feel like it’s something that you should be able to control, but it happens almost without your knowledge – in the middle of the night, when you’re sound asleep. What a rude awakening to suddenly be woken up because you are wet.

When I was younger, my parents assumed it would stop on it’s own. They thought I would eventually grow out of it; that I was just a really deep sleeper. Once I got a bit older and it was still happening, they began taking me to doctors to try to pinpoint the problem. Despite numerous exams and tests, the doctors could never find anything, and the wetting continued.

My parents were very supportive. They woke me up at night to use the bathroom to see if that would help. It did to some extent, but for some reason, I had trouble getting up on my own.  I would wake up wet, with no memory of even going.

Now that I’m in my 40s, I don’t wet the bed quite as often. I may go for months being dry and then suddenly have 3-4 bedwetting episodes in one week. Thank god for my saint of a wife, who never makes me feel bad or ashamed. I can’t imagine what I would do if she wasn’t so supportive and understanding.

It’s hard to know what the problem is. I’m healthy – no trace of diabetes or other conditions that typically cause these types of problems. Although my doctor thinks that perhaps I revert to bedwetting during times of stress in my life, which is certainly a possibility.  For now, I’m trying to reduce the stress in my life, stay healthy, and not worry too much about it, since worrying may just exacerbate the issue (the chicken or the egg, as they say).

I hope that at some point this will go away, but if not, at least there are great products out there that can help protect me (and my bed and wife) from leaks if they do occur.  I don’t like to wear an absorbent pull up every night (they are expensive), but do sleep with a pad under me just in case. And, if I do have an accident, then I typically wear a pull up for the rest of the week at night, since these episodes tend to occur for multiple nights in a row for me.

It’s frustrating, but at least it’s a process that I can live with for now.  Talking to others through message boards, and talking with my wife and doctor have helped. It’s showed me that I’m not alone. Others live with adult bedwetting too, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just another medical condition, ya know?

I’d highly recommend the NAFC message boards if you’re living with bedwetting. There are a lot of great people there who know what it’s like, and it’s a great place to vent, or offer or receive support and kind words. It’s been a lifeline for me.


To join the NAFC message boards, simply visit this link and sign up. The message boards are anonymous, and is a great resource for anyone living with a bladder or bowel health condition.

Read what others have to say about their condition, learn tips for managing incontinence, and when you’re ready, add your own voice to the mix. The NAFC message boards are a supportive group and it’s a great place to share your frustrations and successes with people who understand. Join today!

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